Sometimes it's the Small Things

One of the first things you realize when writing Arabic is that, mirroring English, it moves from right to left on the page. This can be a little disorienting at first. For a while it seems like perennial opposite day. Twenty-three-year-old habits can't be tossed out the window. But if you're left-handed, like me, there's an odd comfort in this newness. No longer will you smudge letters; you finally mesh seamlessly with something in this right-hand-dominated world.

This first month in Jordan had a lot of these oddity-turned-comfort moments. A few: drinking so much sugared tea your teeth hurt, swearing it off, then craving a sugar-fix twenty minutes later; greeting a mosque's call to prayer at 4:30 AM every single morning, then, staring at the darkness, realizing the hard-to-place beauty in the rhythms and tones; after arriving, being reduced to a baby with advanced motor skills and no language--conversing requires complex body movements, exaggerated facial expressions, and a whole lot of time. But then you learn the word for bathroom, water, please. A new world starts to unravel from your tongue. Routines get established; social boundaries defined; your host family opens up. And before you know it, a month's passed.

All the mental energy and space used for week-one limitations has been freed for newer challenges. Your host mother, after preparing a SERIOUS dinner, in Arabic that you can by some small miracle understand, lets you know that she, it turns out, is your new mother, her sons your brothers, her family yours. And you smile pretty darn wide, because in that moment you get a glimpse at how far you've come.

Avoiding Water, But Probably Getting Drenched Regardless

I've seen buckets poured, heard shrills, and have felt rather conflicted w/ the five ALS Ice Bucket Challenge invitations I've received. It's always hard to talk about non-profits. The way they use persuasion tactics to fundraise. The sharp in-/exclusion emotions that result from them. And to muse on that all without sounding like a total prick...it's hard.

So let me start off with something easier: sincere props to the genius involved with this marketing device. Thanks to it, the ALS Association's well over 4,000% what they received last year (from $1.9 million to ~$88 million), and we saw that celebrities have a CNS as vulnerable and "real" as the rest of us. This month-long philanthropic party at the ALS A will be one they'll not soon forget.

But when I think about the world we live in, one that doesn't have limitless philanthropic resources, it means this huge, unprecedented windfall means other worthwhile causes' money-pools just got a bit shallower. More here, less there. AIDS research gains; Alzheimer shrinks. Diabetes beats out Heart Disease. And all want what the ALS A just experienced.

It's not truly a dog-eat-dog situation or a zero-sum parlay, but the inherent cannibalism leads to thorny issues that are hard to parse and make peace with. The ALS A being only a few million away from triple digits (which it's projected to reach) means other charities who are vying for these dollars will, at best, subtract ~$100,000,000 from the sum of all the revenue-streams they tap.

This situation usually informs my donations to non-profits. Stakes are very high. Of course my heart goes out to those with ALS and those who do all they can to battle the disease. There are few people more inspiring than those wholly devoted to fighting for a just cause: those who march for Breast Cancer; for dimes; dance all night dances; work without expecting any sort of personal ROI; those who spend tireless decades to give others' last months a peaceful close.

But the Ice Bucket Challenge is different. 24-hours to donate to a charity I'm not familiar with, or get freezing water poured on me. Be totally honest--if this challenge privately, through USPS, arrived in your mail box, would it go with the junk mail? If you say yes, does that make you a bad person? Does it make you only appear like a bad person? But when it's public, presumably on your Facebook wall where you don't want to appear bad , where all your friends can see your (in)action, maybe your boss, too, maybe your wife--all of this can put the invitee in an awkward situation, a sort of unintended malevolent double-bind.

To those who challenged me, I know your heart's in the right place. And we all know the world could use some serious heart-realignment in certain areas (both geographically and socio-politically). Keep the altruistic verve going; get innovative with your reaching out; and make sure you're informed when you do make that attempt at connection with another. It goes without saying, of course: keep fighting for what resonates deepest inside you.